Thursday, September 17, 2009

Respect the dead DAMN IT!

How do cemeteries get away with moving bodies and reselling plots without the families knowing?? How can that be? It’s crazy and when I hear about it, I can’t help think well don’t families notice?? Are there property management “sub-lease” options in the fine print?? Or do they honestly think they can “trick” families to believe that Grandma and Gramps weren’t buried on the east bluff, but rather laid to rest beneath the Willow tree at the west end of the park? “Oh you must have the older map. Here’s the new one with all of the renovations we’ve done and attractions we’ve added since you buried them.” Or do families eventually stop going to visit their loved one’s grave sites or “whole entire families” finally die off??

And then what, do these cemeteries have a “family tree of the deceased” tracking system? That’s a LOT of data to track! No wonder it’s so damned expensive to be buried! They have to make payroll for enormous staffs making flow charts and researching global obituaries DAILY, and outsourcing various details for this Secret Cemetery Network”. And then what… (again)? Are they all part of some “underground” network that runs gambling pools, like sports boards in Vegas? “Hey Stosh, how do the odds look that anyone is left in the Mutz family, that might show up to visit their great, great Uncle Leo 30 years later? 40 to 1 they’re all dead?!! Great! Ok let’s dig em’ up! Make room people! Move, move, move! The Jones’s are dying to pay us to get in this knoll.”

I understand if we hear about it but have no family or friends buried in that particular cemetery and just scratch our heads, but how come we never hear on the news, “Dateline Minnesota: The Winter family found out their loved ones are NOT where they left them!” HOW DO FAMILIES NOT KNOW?? I don’t get it!! But here’s a hand slapper for the perpetrators, “Look...You dig up someone’s loved one to make profit for a new dearly departed, well then the family gets to bury you…alive… and keep digging you up and re-burying you as many times as they like, until they’re done and YOU apologize.” A simple deterrent. (I’m sorry to those families who may have experienced this type of shameful display of greed)